HARD CHOICES… WE ALL FACE THEM… For example, many of us are looking for the perfect bedtime book — one the kids ask for over and over, that soothes them and gets them to sleep in a jiff!
BUT DID YOU KNOW THAT GOODNIGHT MOON IS DESTROYING OUR PLANET??!!
It’s true! No one knows just why, but since the publication of Goodnight Moon in 1947, pollution around the globe has increased dramatically! Before the book’s publication, no one had even heard of the word “smog”! This children’s classic might even be responsible for “El Niño” and all of the extreme weather of the last few years. Can we afford to gamble with the planet by buying such a book??? What CAN we do?
In desperation, some have turned to other bedtime bestsellers, like Guess How Much I Love You? As IF! Hard anecdotal evidence now shows that many of that book’s most devoted readers are notorious litterbugs! (Boo!) The plastic bags and garbage one sees along highways can be so depressing! Ironically, even Nutbrown Hare wouldn’t last very long in that kind of toxic environment!
Let’s face it: parents are in a pickle. Because we now know that buying Goodnight Moon (hiss!!!) or those other books is the moral equivalent of shooting wolves and polar bears from a plane! That, my friends, is unacceptable!
BUT WAIT!! There IS a way outl! Because now there’s an Environmentally-Friendly Alternative to Goodnight Moon and all of those other irresponsible Earth-destroying publications!! I’m talking about It’s Time to Sleep, My Love — the new children’s lullabye book that’s as environmentally-friendly and lovable as a gurgling baby possum! It won’t mess with the ozone layer OR those wacky polar ice-caps! And even if somehow it does — you’ll get a full refund!
IT’S TIME TO SLEEP, MY LOVE is the Environmentally Safe lullabye book that’s putting the whole world to sleep — without poisoning the planet! It’s the green alternative that’ll make your friends green with envy! Are you ready to make your purchase and feel good about it? CLICK HERE TO SAVE THE PLANET!! HURRY!!
Don’t delay! Buy this book and send a stern message to all those reckless planet-destroying hooligans! Buy FIVE copies and tell ‘em you’ve had enough of their shabby polluting tomfoolery! This is serious! And as a way of helping to clean up the planet, Amazon.com has taken this gorgeous $17 book and SLASHED the price to $10.17! IT’S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, ISN’T IT?
Yours for a cleaner planet,
Eric Metaxas, Author
I’ll be signing copies of my book, It’s Time to Sleep, My Love at the Elm Street Bookshop in New Canaan, Connecticut Saturday from noon to three! Please stop by if you are local! My hometown newspaper, the Danbury News-Times, had this to say.
I was all stuffed up and found it hard to think straight, and yet the extraordinary Will Hinton at times somehow made me sound almost coherent… Good Will Hinton!
Void where prohibited.
As you’ve surely heard, my new lullabye book has been knocking people out across the country (see below) — but imagine my surprise when a friend said she’d seen a copy near President Clinton recently, who promptly sat down and just COULDN”T STAY AWAKE!! This stuff is real, folks! CLICK HERE TO SEE IT YOURSELF! Watch it full-screen, if possible! Could you need more proof that this book simply WORKS???
If you want to get the kids to sleep in a hurry, look no further. It’s Time To Sleep, My Love is your fool-proof fast track ticket to Slumberland… It EVEN WORKS ON FORMER PRESIDENTS!! YOIKS!! THAT’S POWERFUL STUFF!! Zzzzzz…. [Music up and out.]
IT’S THE LULLABYE BOOK THAT’S HELPING THE ENTIRE NATION GET THE REST IT NEEDS — WITHOUT MESSY PILLS OR POWDERS! It’s been called “a real snoozer!” by a supposed friend of mine. (I can’t tell you her real name, but her initials are Ginger Oakes — Ha!) But doggone it, the little gal’s on to something! You see, the book IS a real snoozer. I admit it! In fact, it’s been putting people to sleep in droves all across the country! But now that the word is out — thanks, Ginger! — I might as well let you in on a little secret: the powerfully soporific effect of the book is entirely intentional! That’s right. It’s actually supposed to have that loopy “Sandman” effect! And that’s not JUST because it’s a lullabye!
Nope. You see, the sleeping-bug that’s biting young and old alike who encounter this book is mostly due to a revolution in printing technology! Coloured inks that contain the legal limit of two ppm tryptophan (that’s the stuff in turkeys that puts you to sleep after the big meal every Thanksgiving!) are being cannily employed to create a children’s book that’s knocking folks out left and right! In fact, the very paper upon which this dreamy lullabye is printed are themselves first soaked in a trytophan-heavy solution! (Don’t tell the Feds, because that part really IS illegal). It’s kooky!
The result is the aforementioned “super-snoozer” effect that my friend was referring to! So did you sleep at all last night? If you did, chances are you passed by one of these books and didn’t even know it. Yup, it’s that powerful! We’ve already been getting reports that people are falling asleep in the aisles of some Barnes&Noble stores! (Shhh… don’t wake ‘em up… just tell a store manager and tip-toe away…) In fact, we can’t confirm it yet, but we are hearing anecdotal evidence that fully one-hundred percent of the people who read any part of the book — even the title on the cover from a distance! — are falling asleep within twenty-four hours of reading it. Them’s real results, folks! And we had to tell you!
So if you want a book that’s a “real snoozer!” – thanks, Ginger! Don’t worry, I’ll get you back eventually — and that’s guaranteed to put the kiddies — and non-kiddies — to sleep within twenty-four hours or your money back, may we suggest you look no further? May we also suggest you look no farther? May we additionally suggest you buy one for your father?!?
Yes, it’s the dreamy lullabye book that’s guaranteed to transport its readers to the happy land of Wynken, Blynken, and Nod — even if they don’t wanna go!
Get your copy today and like, Snooze, baby, Snooze!
Yours for better sleeping habits,
Eric Metaxas, Author
p.s. HOLY SNOOZEBAR! JUST LOOK AT THESE RESULTS!!! THESE ARE REAL PHOTOS!!!
This is a dream come true, in more ways than one… My children’s lullabye book, titled It’s Time to Sleep, My Love is in stores TODAY!!! I wrote this children’s lullabye poem thirteen years ago and always knew it was destined to be a children’s picture book, but I never dreamt it would take so long, nor that it would be so gorgeous when it finally arrived. How it came into being is a genuine miracle, the details of which I’ll tell another time. But the magnificent illustrations are by the children’s book superstar Nancy Tillman, whose last book rocketed to #2 on the New York Times Bestseller lists and has already sold over half a million copies. The buzz on this book is so good that Feiwel & Friends has come out of the blocks with a first printing of 175,000 copies. And they’re also about to release an audio cd of Sally Taylor — the daughter of music legends Carly Simon and James Taylor — singing the words of the poem as an actual lullabye. She composed and recorded it just in time for her son, Bodhi’s first birthday this week! Happy Birthday Bodhi!!!
I must add that this is the only book I’ve written that will put people to sleep intentionally! So if you know anyone with a child who needs a good book to read at bedtime… this might be the ticket…