My Book’s being called “A Real Snoozer!!”

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Published by Eric Metaxas on 10/08/08 under Blog

IT’S THE LULLABYE BOOK THAT’S HELPING THE ENTIRE NATION GET THE REST IT NEEDS — WITHOUT MESSY PILLS OR POWDERS! It’s been called “a real snoozer!” by a supposed friend of mine. (I can’t tell you her real name, but her initials are Ginger Oakes — Ha!) But doggone it, the little gal’s on to something! You see, the book IS a real snoozer. I admit it! In fact, it’s been putting people to sleep in droves all across the country! But now that the word is out — thanks, Ginger! — I might as well let you in on a little secret: the powerfully soporific effect of the book is entirely intentional! That’s right. It’s actually supposed to have that loopy “Sandman” effect! And that’s not JUST because it’s a lullabye!

Nope. You see, the sleeping-bug that’s biting young and old alike who encounter this book is mostly due to a revolution in printing technology! Coloured inks that contain the legal limit of two ppm tryptophan (that’s the stuff in turkeys that puts you to sleep after the big meal every Thanksgiving!) are being cannily employed to create a children’s book that’s knocking folks out left and right! In fact, the very paper upon which this dreamy lullabye is printed are themselves first soaked in a trytophan-heavy solution! (Don’t tell the Feds, because that part really IS illegal). It’s kooky!

The result is the aforementioned “super-snoozer” effect that my friend was referring to! So did you sleep at all last night? If you did, chances are you passed by one of these books and didn’t even know it. Yup, it’s that powerful! We’ve already been getting reports that people are falling asleep in the aisles of some Barnes&Noble stores! (Shhh… don’t wake ‘em up… just tell a store manager and tip-toe away…) In fact, we can’t confirm it yet, but we are hearing anecdotal evidence that fully one-hundred percent of the people who read any part of the book — even the title on the cover from a distance! — are falling asleep within twenty-four hours of reading it. Them’s real results, folks! And we had to tell you!

So if you want a book that’s a “real snoozer!” – thanks, Ginger! Don’t worry, I’ll get you back eventually — and that’s guaranteed to put the kiddies — and non-kiddies — to sleep within twenty-four hours or your money back, may we suggest you look no further? May we also suggest you look no farther? May we additionally suggest you buy one for your father?!?

Yes, it’s the dreamy lullabye book that’s guaranteed to transport its readers to the happy land of Wynken, Blynken, and Nod — even if they don’t wanna go!

Get your copy today and like, Snooze, baby, Snooze!

Yours for better sleeping habits,

Eric Metaxas, Author

p.s. HOLY SNOOZEBAR! JUST LOOK AT THESE RESULTS!!! THESE ARE REAL PHOTOS!!!


My new book is out today!!!

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Published by Rick Vlaha on 09/30/08 under Blog

This is a dream come true, in more ways than one… My children’s lullabye book, titled It’s Time to Sleep, My Love is in stores TODAY!!! I wrote this children’s lullabye poem thirteen years ago and always knew it was destined to be a children’s picture book, but I never dreamt it would take so long, nor that it would be so gorgeous when it finally arrived. How it came into being is a genuine miracle, the details of which I’ll tell another time. But the magnificent illustrations are by the children’s book superstar Nancy Tillman, whose last book rocketed to #2 on the New York Times Bestseller lists and has already sold over half a million copies. The buzz on this book is so good that Feiwel & Friends has come out of the blocks with a first printing of 175,000 copies. And they’re also about to release an audio cd of Sally Taylor — the daughter of music legends Carly Simon and James Taylor — singing the words of the poem as an actual lullabye. She composed and recorded it just in time for her son, Bodhi’s first birthday this week! Happy Birthday Bodhi!!!

I must add that this is the only book I’ve written that will put people to sleep intentionally! So if you know anyone with a child who needs a good book to read at bedtime… this might be the ticket…